By Tim on 23rd September, 2007
Have you ever met someone and just knew right then and there that he’s the ONE? From the first time you ever laid eyes on him, heard him speak, watched him move, and saw him smile? You felt your heartbeat rate shoot up the ceiling and your heart was doing back flips, somersaults and even cartwheels? You did? Well, that’s exactly what I felt when I first saw him. He looked like he stepped out from the GQ magazine. His presence alone was intoxicating. You would never see him with unkempt hair, long and dirty finger nails, shirts that are not well ironed or neatly tucked. He’s so good looking and great smelling too. He’s got a deep-throated voice with a soft rumble. He speaks so eloquently and effectively as well. He’s intelligent and sensible. Can be funny and serious. When I got to know him, I also found out that he’s sensitive, respectful, tactful and courteous. He loves to cook especially for his mom and his youngest sister. He’s fond of kids. He gets goofy with them and tells them scary and funny stories. He’s a real gentleman; you would never hear him say any thing bad about anyone. He’s got a heart of gold especially for the unfortunate ones. So you would say, Wow, he really fits the bill! You are one lucky woman! I’d die just to be in your place! Hep, hep, hep, hold your horses ladies! Wait, until you hear me out. It’s true that he sounds like he’s almost perfect but (yes, there’s that big BUT)…he likes…MEN too! Yes, he’s gay, sward, faggot, and homo. Simply speaking in our lingo, he is BAKLA! Hah, there I’ve said it! Hey. Don’t get mad at me ladies, my apologies for beating around the bush and not telling you the whole truth immediately. You got disillusioned huh? Well, if you felt that way, what do you think did I feel when I finally mustered enough courage to tell him that I’m in love with him? It’s like I was suddenly poured down with ice-cold water with icicles piercing my heart! It was truly unforgettable in a painful way! So, I’ll let you in on the conversation that transpired that night.
It was truly a romantic evening. We were walking under that stars blanketing the welcoming sky, the moon was gleaming like a silver platter, the crickets were gaily serenading, and the trees were dancing with the fairies of the woods. Then we sat beside the lake glistening like thousands of diamonds. And there, I felt it. That inexplicable joy of just being with him, of having him so near. That with just a few words he could be mine or I could lose him forever. So, I said to myself. “Calm down girl, you can do this. All you have to do is say it and wait for his reaction or you could just turn tail and run now and suffer for the rest of your life for not telling him!” I was fidgeting the California travel guide that I bought with me when I’ve decided to tell him. I looked into his eyes, placed my hand on top of his and was so careful not to blink because I wanted him to take me seriously. I was hyper ventilating, I was mumbling like an idiot at first until I composed myself again and told him “Jake (not his real name), I think I’m in love with you, I mean I love you, I really do.” And everything fell silent, it was deafening. Then he slowly stood up, brushed the grass off his pants and said “Josh, you are great woman, smart, funny and all the good words molded into one but… (Then, I thought Uh-oh, there’s that dreaded BUT again!) But…I’m…gay, I’m sorry.” My mind went blank and I was repeating those words over and over again in my head. He’s what? He’s gay? What did he mean by that? Oh, I get it, this is a nightmare and I would get up any minute now and say “Whew, what a weird dream!” But it didn’t happen. It was real. I was really standing in front of him and hearing those words. I felt like my knees turned into jelly, I sat down rather abruptly and for the first time in my life, I was speechless. I wanted to say something, anything but no words came out. I wanted to tell him it’s all right but it’s not, I know things would never be the same again between us. And I was right. Because after that incident, he never spoke to me again. We drifted apart, lost contact and never saw each other until now. Sad, but true.
So my question is this “What if you already found the man of your dreams but he turned out to be a nightmare because he happens to be gay?” You wouldn’t know what to do, what to say, what to feel, what to think until you’re in the situation that I’ve gone through with. Life is really ironic because even if you already found you think is “THE ONE” that you want to spend the rest of your life with but if he is not “THE ONE FOR YOU” then you’ll still end up getting your heart broken. It’s true that we can’t choose whom to love and whom not to love but at least we could try to be more cautious. Be careful whom you fall in love with because what happened to me could definitely happen to you. So, I therefore conclude that great men are either taken already, six feet underground or GAY! Reality does bite and it bites hard!
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